Belinda, Always Great Value

Oh, Belinda. If you weren’t utterly unbearable you’d be my favourite person in the office, because you’re actually great entertainment value. Such lies, such deceit, and all told with the straightest face, though sparkling white teeth. At least when she spent a whole week telling us all about the Sparkle-Tron 6000 she bought off the shopping channel (the only tooth-bleacher with a money-back guarantee after two weeks!), she wasn’t lying through her…teeth. Snort.

In any case, it’s become pretty easy to see through her lies. But no, don’t mind us, tell everyone about how daddy got you a buyers advocate firm in Melbourne as a wedding present, and how they’re right at this very moment finding you your dream home. We all want to know about that one, Belinda, not that we’ll be expecting an invitation to your housewarming because that would require a house to warm. It’s not IMPOSSIBLE that she got herself a high-end property, but knowing Belinda, she wouldn’t even know what a property advocate does. She probably thinks it’s someone who puts the house pictures up online or something, or the guy who writes the descriptions of what to expect when you come to have a look.

In any case, it’s interesting enough watching her squirm as she tries to explain it. She said that she hasn’t met with the property advocate yet, and so she doesn’t really know what it involves, and besides, it’s just a present from daddy so she didn’t book it herself and she’s excited because it sounds nice…

I’d believe you, Belinda, but I don’t believe you. Then again, it’s not like I’m going to get in my car and drive around all of the buyers advocates near Melbourne asking them if they’ve taken Belinda on as a client. I have much better things to do with my time, and my day. Like listening to Belinda tell us about her rich Canadian husband. This should be good…

-Carla