Together, We Are Strong…

The family has always been together. That’s the way it’s always been, since the very early days when we were operating out of Urusai Castle. Everyone knew where we lived, and feared our killing efficiency. We were strong together, and no one would dare launch any sort of attack.

Now the younger family members want to move out. Surely, these are the end times for our proud bloodline! We’re having a family meeting tonight, where I intend to argue my case. I’m perfectly aware that moving around is part of the culture here- young folks move out to attend tertiary studies, people move homes when they get various jobs in different places, and there are actually people called buyers advocates in Melbourne who help you to move to new places- but I’m against it. Our home is perfectly adequate for all of our needs, and the need to commute in for daily training will simply put a damper on our overall efficiency.

I suppose they think the matter is decided. I bet Kojiro-san has already got himself a buyers advocate to move his wife and child to a nice, friendly home in the suburbs, with plenty of unprotected windows, and perhaps only a three-foot fence to deter attackers. Oh, he’ll say that we should integrate, and perhaps it’s not so good to have the family in one place due to issues with space, or perhaps a nightly poison gas attack. Well, the elders and I have plenty of experience on our side. It’s ALWAYS best for us to stay together, because reasons, and tradition, so there.

Besides, we don’t hire outside people. Imagine, a member of our group being guided around by a real estate agent. A member of our family being helped to find a home by a property advocate here in Melbourne. All it takes is one order of sabotage, and such business relationships quickly turn sour. They could be our local rivals for all we know.

Probably not. They’re almost certainly just buyers advocates. But I’m not going to bring that up at the meeting.