Wallpaper Cannot Help

Maphira had almost finished with her mental rant over the final Space Battles trilogy, but she felt a new rant brewing within her. She couldn’t let it escape. There was no time to go on another mental tangent filled with rage. But every time she got angry about Space Battles, it reminded her of the other thing in the series she despised with a burning passion. It was completely inevitable.

No, Mai, just think about unicorn wall art instead. Let the pink unicorns calm you down. They’re cute and adorable and I just want to hug all of them. Don’t think about that game, otherwise, you’ll never get out of this rant.

But it was too late. Already, her mind was turning to Space Battles, The Fourth Unleashed II. One of the worst video games ever produced. No dreams of owning a Melbourne shop offering Australian botanical wallpaper would be able to calm her down.

That game had just been a complete insult. The first game had been so good. It was one of the best video games she had ever played in her teenage years. She was so excited for the sequel. It started well, but then it turned out that the whole thing could be completed in four to five hours. When she saw how many levels it had, she thought that must have just been the first act, but it was actually the whole game.

And the ending! Oh, how horrible the ending had been. While the first game had been clever about presenting the player with options, one good and the other evil, the sequel quite literally asked her if she’d like the evil ending or the good ending. In the evil ending, the character was killed by a clone of himself that didn’t even exist in the good ending, which made absolutely no sense.

Not to mention the fact that—

No. She wouldn’t allow this to continue. She’d bring her thoughts back to dinosaur wallpapers and butterfly wallpaper. She couldn’t stand around all day ranting in her own head about the Space Battles series. A series she supposedly loved.

It was time to end this.