Fun Times with Welding Suits

Fringe science is a lot more helpful than you might think. Sure, we use macabre and sometimes (often) disturbing methods that can never be spoken of in any public forum, but at least we get results. That’s what happens when you abandon all of your morals and have basically no oversight. Our unlimited budget helps as well. And hey, despite all of that, it’s a super fun workplace where we have plenty of laughs! Ha! so many laughs. Good times indeed.

So anyway, our latest project is stainless steel, which I’m allowed to talk about because it’s only level three clearance: no details. So you have these good places in Melbourne for stainless steel welding, and they work very hard, but it’s dangerous work. Sometimes there are sparks, sometimes you have to weld underwater, and that lowers productivity. Safety measures ALWAYS lower productivity. If it were up to me, I’d just cut down on those things. Spend less on helmets and really good-quality harnesses, and you have more money left over for the welding. But sadly, laws exist, and people want to feel like they’re safe at work. I get that, to a degree, which is why we’re trying to develop a special welding suit that’s more sleek and convenient than any that have come before. This baby is waterproof, spark-proof, and just slips on over anything. It even has airbag functions, so you don’t need to worry about when you’re welding way up high and something goes wrong. Great for welding cruise ships, or just making a little old plate alloy boat.

Of course, while the goal is safety for welding, the testing process is a ton of fun. Yesterday I got to stand inside a chamber while being assaulted by flamethrowers, to test how fireproof the suit is. So metal!