Smile and Wave

When I was hired for this job, I was told that my job was to smile at people coming into the building, send clients up to the correct floor, and generally just be a sunny presence.

And now, I hold ultimate power over everything…I guess. I control the horizontal and the vertical. I know all, and I see all, except for the ‘know all’ part because I’m a week in and I do not have a clue what I’m doing.

They just asked me to find a decent company in Melbourne for central heating repairs and installation. And that’s fine and all, searching for heating companies is something most people can do, but I’m told there are some that won’t service commercial properties. I’ve been given a list of things to include, like a floorplan of the building (I don’t have one), an explanation of the budget (no one told me what that was) and I have to do something called a ‘Preliminary Fire Safety Inspection’, so as to make sure I tell them what sort of heating we’re getting. I tried to look that up online, but found nothing. Asked, the boss, he said “oh yeah, that’s just something we do in our company. Anyway, get that fire safety inspection done, ask if you need help,” and he’s been in meetings ever since.

Don’t bother telling me how to do things, then. I’ll just do them…magically. It does NOT make me feel better knowing that lives could be at risk if I mess this up, but I haven’t the foggiest idea where to start. I think I’ll just have to find the perfect gas heating expert, explain to them the situation, and hopefully they know what they’re doing better than I ever would. That’d be the idea.

And in the meantime, I’ll get started on my other laundry list of things that people want me to do, but conveniently have neglected to mention how they’re done.